When I first started investigating this lifestyle, I was quite sure I would be doing so from the outside looking in. Everything I read and saw indicated that “all” Doms were male, rich and 40 years old and “all” subs were female, skinny, and 20 years old. I was sure I had missed my chance as I had this triple whammy against me. Because “everybody” knows that people older than 50 can’t and don’t want to have sex anymore, never mind kinky sex. And “everybody” knows that fat girls sit at home alone and never have dates, let alone sex, since everyone only wants skinny girls with perky breasts and not a tummy, ass and saggy tits like mine. And “everybody” knows that anyone with any kind of disability never even thinks about having sex let alone wanting to be tied up and spanked! I actually bought into that mentality, for a very short time at least; I believed I could only indulge in D/s in my mind and fantasies with reading and writing erotica. I was pleasantly surprised to learn just how wrong I was.

Yes, I am old, er.. older (65, and growing younger every day).

Yes, I am fat, and after decades of battling this physically and mentality, I am finally learning to embrace my body as it is.. despite a therapist who recently tried to body shame and didn’t get away with it. It’s taken years to finally move from “not good enough” (no matter how much weight I lost) to be perfectly fine with my body just the way I am.

Yes, I am partially disabled and have been for 30 years after a near-fatal car accident almost caused me to lose my leg. But a brilliant surgeon was able to save it, although I do have a metal rod from knee to ankle holding it all together and I now I have to use a cane. I was warned at the time that I would be back in a wheelchair eventually because the damage was just too extensive to last very long. I know this is in my near future.

But I am pleased to see other people who are disable who are now speaking out for the same rights that others have enjoyed, and yes, that includes an active sex life, and yes, yes, yes, that includes kink.

I’m sorry that it took me so long to embrace all of these things. Unfortunately, for me and many like me, sex education was practically non-existent and we, especially women, consistently got the message that sex was an evil sin, not to be enjoyed by “good girls” (how happy I am that good girl means something so much more positive in this lifestyle), and was simply to be endured, for sake of marriage and children. I rebelled the in sex before marriage rule, although to be honest, I didn’t understand much about it and didn’t really enjoy it. So many wasted years. I now know it’s not too late and I’m trying to make up for lost time.

A book that I’m reading is called “The Best Sex Writing of the Year”. It’s an anthology of stories about sex and sex work and one of the most interesting was a sex worker who regularly worked with severely disabled men and what people think about them and their sexuality.

And last year Kinkly posted an article called “13 Myths About Sex and Disability”

It’s my hope that the younger generations will get much better sex education that what the older generations received… not only the mechanics of sex, but anatomy, emotions, relationships, responsibility and consent. And that every human being on this planet deserves and has the right to the fulfilling sex life.






Although I am terribly claustrophobic, I find a strange sense of security about being bound and gagged. I do admit it took me a while to get used to having something in or over my mouth, at first I was sure that would be a hard limit for me. But that doesn’t turn out to be the case, at least too much. Because I have a history of breathing problems and an intense fear of not being able to breathe, I was terrified of trying any kind of gags. But a very patient Dom worked with me, carefully and slowly. Now I can not only tolerate, but appreciate a ball gag, a scarf as a cleave gag or even tape across my mouth, as long as it’s not wrapped around my head. I still can’t handle anything stuffed in my mouth, as much as this Dom would love it.. such as my own panties. It all goes back to that fear of not being able to breathe.

Because of this fear, I also can’t handle anything like a hood over my head, but I do alright with a blindfold. I guess because that doesn’t cover my mouth and nose. I also would not be able to tolerate a latex suit and the hood that often goes along with it. Not only due to my phobia but also because I’m very allergic to latex.

But when it comes to things like hand cuffs and ankle cuffs and rope, you have my complete attention. These are the things that make me feel secure… and I can totally understand why a baby likes to be swaddled. When I’m instructed to strip and put on my black velcro ankle cuffs and cuff my hands behind my back, I can go off into a trance, especially if I’m also blindfolded. One Dom I know likes to do this along with a butt plug in my ass and a ball gag in my mouth so that all of my holes are filled. At this point I don’t even care if I have an orgasm, I’m happy just like this…






Dressed Males, Naked Females


My interest in being a naked submissive with a dressed Dom goes back to my childhood. Yes, I know, for many this is a taboo subject. But I’ve been studying human sexuality for the past four years along with sociology (for the past 40 years) and anthropology and have come to the conclusion that everything that affects us as adults started in our childhood. And sexuality isn’t any different.

My education in sex was limited, as were most people’s growing up in the 50’s and 60’s. It amounted to “sex ed” in a segregated girls only class that was nothing more than an advertisement for Kotex. My parents then handed me a book about sex and told me to let them know if I had any questions.. like that was going to happen. The book was pretty generic and hardly answered any of my questions at all and I was sure if the book didn’t or couldn’t, my parents wouldn’t either. The other two things that added to my education about sex were my mother’s Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs and my father’s Playboy magazines, both displayed in plain sight in the bathroom. That started my life long habit of reading on the pot. And read them I did.

Nudity wasn’t a big deal in my house growing up. Both of my parents walked around nude, none of us own robes (or slippers) and us kids were always running around naked.

My dad routinely took showers with one of us, babes in his arms. Being naked was a normal part of my family life. My parents were beatniks and my mother, with her long blonde hair, spent most of her life in a leopard skin bikini and smoking cigarettes using a long black cigarette holder.

Although the terms were never used in our house, it was quite obvious that my father was a Dominant and my mother was a very docile submissive, which sent mixed signals to me… as the oldest child, and the oldest daughter. I was told to go out and do what I want, be what I want, as long as I was submissive like my mother. I was suppose to look like her too, but that was another thing that was never going to happen.

I think one of the images in those Playboy magazines that I always stayed with me was that the men were always clothed… usually in beautifully tailored suits or tuxedos and the women were always naked. It just seemed natural to me.

So now, as an adult… I am a control freak leader who usually needs to be in charge of projects who is also a sexual submissive with the right man… one that I want to be fully dressed (although I prefer black jeans and a black tee shirt over a suit and tie) while I am blissfully nude.




Masturbation Survey!

Are you male or female? Female
How old are you? 66
At what age did you start masturbating? 6
How many times a week do you masturbate? 6
How many times do you orgasm each time you play? 3

Where do you masturbate: sitting in front of my computer
In bed? yes
In the shower? yes
In the bath? no
Outdoors? yes
At work? no
Every room in the house? no
In a car while traveling… ? no

What do you fantasize about when you play:
A significant other? yes
A friend? YES
A friend’s spouse? no
A stranger? yes
A student? no
A member of the same sex? no
A past lover? yes

What position do you play in:
On your back? yes
Standing? yes
Kneeling? no
Sitting? yes
Lying on tummy? no

How do you play:
With left hand? yes
With right hand? yes
With a toy? yes
With water from bath? no
Written erotica? yes
Pictures? yes
Movie clips online? yes
Videos? yes
Something on TV? no

What is your favorite porn:
Straight sex between man and woman? yes
Gay or lesbian sex? no
Group sex or orgies? yes
Blow jobs/oral sex? yes
Cumshots? no
Anal? yes
Interracial? yes
Age play? no
S&M? yes
Role playing? no
Kinky? YES!!!

Have you ever masturbated to:
Email messages? Yes
A chat room dialogue? Yes
Exchanged stories or pictures? Yes

Have you ever:
Been caught masturbating? No
Masturbated for a man/woman? YES!!
Masturbated for the same sex? No
Masturbated in a group? no
Masturbated for a photo? yes
Masturbated for a webcam? YES!!
Masturbated for a video? Yes

Do you ever:
Play with nipples/breasts when masturbating? Yes
Insert something or play with your ass? Yes
Insert something in mouth when masturbating? Yes
Use pain as a method of playing? YES

For men and women:
Do you taste your cum? Yes
When was the last time you masturbated? an hour ago
Are you wet or hard now? wet
Are you going to masturbate now? soon
Are you a masturbation addict? probably
What is the most you have played in one day? 6 times