When I first started investigating this lifestyle, I was quite sure I would be doing so from the outside looking in. Everything I read and saw indicated that “all” Doms were male, rich and 40 years old and “all” subs were female, skinny, and 20 years old. I was sure I had missed my chance as I had this triple whammy against me. Because “everybody” knows that people older than 50 can’t and don’t want to have sex anymore, never mind kinky sex. And “everybody” knows that fat girls sit at home alone and never have dates, let alone sex, since everyone only wants skinny girls with perky breasts and not a tummy, ass and saggy tits like mine. And “everybody” knows that anyone with any kind of disability never even thinks about having sex let alone wanting to be tied up and spanked! I actually bought into that mentality, for a very short time at least; I believed I could only indulge in D/s in my mind and fantasies with reading and writing erotica. I was pleasantly surprised to learn just how wrong I was.

Yes, I am old, er.. older (65, and growing younger every day).

Yes, I am fat, and after decades of battling this physically and mentality, I am finally learning to embrace my body as it is.. despite a therapist who recently tried to body shame and didn’t get away with it. It’s taken years to finally move from “not good enough” (no matter how much weight I lost) to be perfectly fine with my body just the way I am.

Yes, I am partially disabled and have been for 30 years after a near-fatal car accident almost caused me to lose my leg. But a brilliant surgeon was able to save it, although I do have a metal rod from knee to ankle holding it all together and I now I have to use a cane. I was warned at the time that I would be back in a wheelchair eventually because the damage was just too extensive to last very long. I know this is in my near future.

But I am pleased to see other people who are disable who are now speaking out for the same rights that others have enjoyed, and yes, that includes an active sex life, and yes, yes, yes, that includes kink.

I’m sorry that it took me so long to embrace all of these things. Unfortunately, for me and many like me, sex education was practically non-existent and we, especially women, consistently got the message that sex was an evil sin, not to be enjoyed by “good girls” (how happy I am that good girl means something so much more positive in this lifestyle), and was simply to be endured, for sake of marriage and children. I rebelled the in sex before marriage rule, although to be honest, I didn’t understand much about it and didn’t really enjoy it. So many wasted years. I now know it’s not too late and I’m trying to make up for lost time.

A book that I’m reading is called “The Best Sex Writing of the Year”. It’s an anthology of stories about sex and sex work and one of the most interesting was a sex worker who regularly worked with severely disabled men and what people think about them and their sexuality.

And last year Kinkly posted an article called “13 Myths About Sex and Disability”

It’s my hope that the younger generations will get much better sex education that what the older generations received… not only the mechanics of sex, but anatomy, emotions, relationships, responsibility and consent. And that every human being on this planet deserves and has the right to the fulfilling sex life.





A lonely spinster, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
She decided to put an ad in the local paper that read:

“HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run
around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants must
apply in person.”

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay she opened
the door to see a gray haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had
no arms or legs.

She asked sardonically, “You’re not really asking me to consider you,
are you? Just look at you… you have no legs!”

The old man smiled, “Therefore I cannot run around on you!”

She snorted, “You don’t have any hands either!” Again the old man
smiled, and said, “Nor can I beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently, “Are you still good in bed?”

With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile and said, “I rang the
doorbell didn’t I?”


12 beautiful bigger women show off their bodies for naked calendar

It’s taken me years, decades, to start to accept and appreciate my own body. I hated it for most of my life, felt like a failure because I didn’t look like my mother who was 5’8″ and 120 pounds. Even when I lost enough weight to get down to 120, there was no way I was going to gain four inches to tall and thin like her, so my efforts were deemed “not good enough”.

I love that I’m seeing more women in the media who look like me and it’s slowly becoming more acceptable to look like this and admit that you are attracted to people of size. But fat-shaming and, even worse, fat-baiting, still exists. We have a long way to go.

12 beautiful bigger women show off their bodies for naked calendar

Women of Size