Sex Over Fifty

This obviously is another hot topic for me, since I am over 50, in fact, I just turned 66 a few days ago.

The first line on an article on Kinkly.com pretty much sums up the mentality that general society has about sex for senior citizens:

“Bring up the topic of sex among older adults, and the typical response – at least among younger people – tends to be ewww. That common reaction reflects our cultural ideas about aging and older people more than it reflects reality.” https://www.kinkly.com/2/14124/sex-tips/aging-and-sex/how-to-reframe-your-sexual-beliefs-as-you-age

I wrote basically the same thing in an earlier article based on something I had read: “that there is so much judgment and mocking about people who are over the age of 50. Especially when it comes to sex. I just read an article that basically said the same thing as to what I was thinking… “Why is it that the younger generation still have the misconception that anyone over the age of 40 does not, or cannot, have sex?””

I ended my article with this: “Open your mind. Be accepting and try to not judge others. Just because something isn’t your cup of tea, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Try new things, make new friends, go new places, reexamine your beliefs and ideas, learn new lessons and if this includes having sex at every opportunity, no matter what your age, then jump on it, baby!!! And for those who are in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s… don’t blink, because you will be us sooner than you think.”

I’m glad to see that there are more and more articles all across the board about sex for people older than 50, and not just on Kinky sites. While, at least according to my observation, kinky people seem to be more open minded about all aspects of sexuality, for the most part, and age isn’t any different. But it also seems that more of this open minded and acceptance of being sexually active is with men than with women. Men, again, for the most part, have always embraced their sexuality from the moment they realized what was happening almost until they die. No one questions a man who fathers a child in his 80’s, in fact, they congratulate him for having so much stamina. Yet, if a woman gives birth to a child in her 40’s or 50’s, she is questioned about her sanity, suggesting that it’s not fair to the child because she might die before child reaches adulthood. Women are also shamed about sex, almost from the beginning.. as a girl she is told that “she must save herself for marriage” and “that sex was only for procreation” and “only in the bonds of marriage” never before or outside of it. While neither gender from my generation received even adequate sex education, boys and men were encouraged to experiment and go out and sow their wild oats. Girls were told to keep their legs closed and, god forbid, not desire or enjoy sex for any reason. And then once married, sex is meant to be endured, all for the purpose of bearing children. Once that task is completed, sex could be discarded and menopause was often used as an excuse to get out of “doing it”

But sex has many more purposes than just producing babies. Yet, these other purposes are rarely discussed. Orgasm was not something I experienced during sex. Ever. Most of the men I was with didn’t seem to care of I came or not… There was a little bit of foreplay, mostly for their own enjoyment, and then penetration and thrusting until he came, pulled out, asked nonchalantly, “did you cum”, and then rolled over and went to sleep without even waiting to hear the answer. My orgasm was not their focus or concern. Only one guy fingered me almost to the brink of cumming, stopped and went on with main event. None have ever watched me have an orgasm, until recently. I’ve now met men, most of them into the D/s of BDSM and believed in “the lady comes first” attitude. That was something new for me. That someone not only directed me to have an orgasm, but they wanted to watch as well. And I started watching men ejaculate, something I never had experienced either.. all sex previously had been under covers and in the dark. I was fascinated watching a man stroke his cock until his semen shot out. I couldn’t get enough of that and usually had no problems finding a man who would oblige.

 

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