Denial is one of those love-hate situations. I hate it when I’m the middle of orgasm denial, but I try to remember how wonderfully explosive the orgasm will be when I’m finally given permission to cum. The process is difficult, and often leaves me irritable, always frustrated, but always aware of who my orgasms belong to. Which is the point of orgasm denial in the first place, of always putting the needs of the Dom first, of the desire to always please him, of knowing in the end the submissive will be rewarded for her obedience. Sometimes I wonder why I do this, why I give myself to the control of another, but then I remember that it’s arousing to be directed and controlled by someone else. I could give myself orgasms easily, but there is something more dynamic when they are directed by the other person… the need to be told what to do and how to do, the need to let someone else take that lead, the desire to please that person, all make the experience stronger and better than what it is without it.
Desire is a hunger that needs to be satisfied and having both gives you a sense of balance, much the same way that the power play in D/s gives me balance.