I totally believe that sex begins in the brain. Both thinking about what you are doing and knowing what you are doing.
But sex is also very sensual. We depend on our five senses to experience sex to the fullest… sight, sound, smell, touch and taste, and usually in that order.
It helps to exercise those senses so you can get the most out of the sensual sexual experience, as it’s not just the destination that matters, but the journey… the communication, the visual, the foreplay and hopefully, the orgasm. But sometimes just having the journey is what is most important.
So with that in mind, I came up with ways to exercises each of the senses…
Listen CD’s or tapes of environmental sounds.
Laugh! Watch a comedy movie.
Listen to a ballet and dance.
Sit in your backyard or in a park and listen to the birds.
Sing as loud as you can to the radio in your car.
Go to a symphony orchestra performance.
Listen to someone talk to you without worrying about what you will say.
Listen to books on tape while walking, driving, resting.
Listen to music of one instrument, such as cello or harp or piano.
Borrow music CD’s of symphonies.
Go to concerts of various music genres.
Hang up windchimes, inside and out… it creates positive qi around you.
Invest in a tabletop fountain.
Watch tropical fish swim in a home aquarium.
Watch for a shooting star.
Walk thru a garden in full bloom.
Watch a candle flame.
Watch ocean waves ebb and tide.
Gaze at the full moon.
Look for the first sign of spring; the first robin, crocus, etc.
Paint with watercolors, oils, acrylics.
Watch a sunrise.
Watch a sunset.
Go to an art museum.
Take pictures of things, not people. Try using black and white film.
Look at something, really look at it for the first time.
Buy paints in the primary colors … what new shades can you make?
Put on different kinds of music and paint to the music.
Rest with cucumber slices or wet tea bags on your eyes.
Do an eye-wash.
Go on a whale watch in the ocean.
Watch a baby, or a kitten, or puppy move.
Lie on the grass and watch the shapes that clouds make.
Make an adult blanket, using soft fabrics in your favorite color.
Make a collage using assorted textures of paper, fabric, natural items.
Use various grades of sandpaper, sand a piece of wood smooth.
Walking barefoot on a sandy beach.
Have a snowball fight.
Have a snowball fight in the middle of the summer.
Get a hot paraffin wax dip treatment on hands and/or feet.
Learn American Sign Language.
Carve and whittle a walking stick.
Go ice skating, especially on a hot day.
Get a body piercing and/or a tattoo.
Try mehendi henna temporary tattoos.
Try body painting, glitter gels, rhinestones and jewels glued on.
Learn to play an instrument; piano, harp, guitar, that uses your fingers.
Do yoga and tai chi, see how it increases your personal chi (qi).
Paint your toenails and fingernails with colorful nail polishes.
Run, walk, swim, move….. Notice how it makes you feel.
Pet a cat or a dog.
Do some hands-on crafts; claywork, ceramics, pottery.
Get an acupuncture treatment.
Plant seeds in the earth.
Cuddle up in a warm pair of flannel pajamas, under a soft blanket before
a roaring fire on a cold night.
Receive a Therapeutic Touch treatment
Enjoy the feel of doing needlework; hand-quilting, crocheting, cross
stitch, embroidery, beadwork, needlepoint, lacemaking, weaving.
Buy a soft sweater or blouse and wear it right next to your skin.
Enjoy the smooth feel of your legs just after shaving them and
smoothing on lotion.
Do some messy childhood tactile arts; playdough, fingerpaints,
Hang wet laundry on an old-fashioned clothesline, and then fold the
crisp dry clothes later.
A hot bath with lots of soft bubbles
Hug a big, soft, plush teddy bear.
Dance; take classes in ballet, modern, hip hop, lyrical, tap, belly-dancing,
square dancing, western line dancing, ballroom, salsa.
Walk in the rain without an umbrella.
Smooth on a soft body lotion, on arms, legs, feet, hands….
Get a massage, AND a facial, AND foot reflexology.
Buy new sheets
Play with a Relaxing Rice Box:
Color raw rice with a few drops of one color of food coloring and a
few drops of desired essential oil. Let sit and dry. Store in a low
wooden box. This rice is very relaxing to play with, sift thru your
fingers, fill small silver or wooden cups, pour out. Revert back to
Trace a long a finger labyrinth
Take a hot steamy shower.
Give and get lots of hugs.
Sit outside and feel the warmth of the sun on your face.
Invest in a good aromatherapy book and some essential oils; such as
lavender and orange or grapefruit. Lavender relaxes you, citrus
Make aromatherapy playdough.
Smell the air just after a big rain storm.
Add essential oils to terracotta scent stones.
Use lavender essential oil spray on your pillow at night to promote sleep.
Do steam-inhalation to clear out your sinuses.
Use clary sage and eucalyptus to help with sinus problems. Put
both in a steaming bowl of water and use a towel as a tent over
Shop for scents: walk into a bakery, to Starbucks, a fishmarket, etc
Fill the burner bowl with warm water, essential oil and light the candle.
Place essential oil onto a warm, filled bath and relax.
Add about three drops of your favorite Synergy blend to sweet almond
oil for a massage.
Add 20 drops of essential oil to 4 ounces of water in a spray bottle.
Spray throughout the house.
Make or buy potpourri and put around your house to gently scent the
Add essential oil directly to the vacuum cleaner bag before vacuuming.
Put 5 drops of your favorite fragrance in with the clothes wash.
Especially nice for lingerie.
Wear your favorite essential oil in a special aromatherapy necklace
Make a pot of hot simmering soup rich with beef broth, vegetables and
Rice Healing Pillows
Use tea towels or a large wash cloth. Sew them up on three sides
and fill with rice and herbs.
Buy flowers for their scent.
Make citrus fruit pomanders with whole cloves.
Make scented sachets for your drawers and closets.
Plant scented geraniums around your front door.
Buy a new perfume, and perhaps the bath products to go with it
Burn some incense and meditate
Grow a fragrant herb garden
Make homemade scented soaps and candles.
Drink clear clean water, and think about the taste
Do tastings. You’ve heard of wine, cheese, and beer tastings… how
about chocolate, nuts, exotic fruits…
Hot chocolate chip cookies and ice cold milk
Eat a pint of your favorite ice cream directly out of the carton without a
shred of guilt
Eat a roasted hot dog at the beach or at a baseball game.
The taste of kissing someone after drinking a glass of wine.
Sautéed garlic and onions in anything.
Fresh hot bread with extra-virgin olive oil
The rich tender taste of a delicious prime rib.
Fresh strawberries, raspberries and cherries
Catch snowflakes on your tongue
Get your teeth cleaned at the dentist
Eat a cold crisp apple