Hugh Hefner RIP

About a week ago I wrote about how Hugh Hefner’s Playboy magazine had an influence on my sexuality (along with Helen Gurly Brown of Cosmopolitan) and about naked female submissives and dressed male Dominants.

Another influence from that magazine was Roy Neiman’s Femlin.. the little “doll” wearing nothing but black thigh highs and long black gloves. My dad actually had several of these figurines. To this day, I have a real “thing” about wearing nothing but black thigh highs.

 

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Bound

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Although I am terribly claustrophobic, I find a strange sense of security about being bound and gagged. I do admit it took me a while to get used to having something in or over my mouth, at first I was sure that would be a hard limit for me. But that doesn’t turn out to be the case, at least too much. Because I have a history of breathing problems and an intense fear of not being able to breathe, I was terrified of trying any kind of gags. But a very patient Dom worked with me, carefully and slowly. Now I can not only tolerate, but appreciate a ball gag, a scarf as a cleave gag or even tape across my mouth, as long as it’s not wrapped around my head. I still can’t handle anything stuffed in my mouth, as much as this Dom would love it.. such as my own panties. It all goes back to that fear of not being able to breathe.

Because of this fear, I also can’t handle anything like a hood over my head, but I do alright with a blindfold. I guess because that doesn’t cover my mouth and nose. I also would not be able to tolerate a latex suit and the hood that often goes along with it. Not only due to my phobia but also because I’m very allergic to latex.

But when it comes to things like hand cuffs and ankle cuffs and rope, you have my complete attention. These are the things that make me feel secure… and I can totally understand why a baby likes to be swaddled. When I’m instructed to strip and put on my black velcro ankle cuffs and cuff my hands behind my back, I can go off into a trance, especially if I’m also blindfolded. One Dom I know likes to do this along with a butt plug in my ass and a ball gag in my mouth so that all of my holes are filled. At this point I don’t even care if I have an orgasm, I’m happy just like this…

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Dressed Males, Naked Females

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My interest in being a naked submissive with a dressed Dom goes back to my childhood. Yes, I know, for many this is a taboo subject. But I’ve been studying human sexuality for the past four years along with sociology (for the past 40 years) and anthropology and have come to the conclusion that everything that affects us as adults started in our childhood. And sexuality isn’t any different.

My education in sex was limited, as were most people’s growing up in the 50’s and 60’s. It amounted to “sex ed” in a segregated girls only class that was nothing more than an advertisement for Kotex. My parents then handed me a book about sex and told me to let them know if I had any questions.. like that was going to happen. The book was pretty generic and hardly answered any of my questions at all and I was sure if the book didn’t or couldn’t, my parents wouldn’t either. The other two things that added to my education about sex were my mother’s Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs and my father’s Playboy magazines, both displayed in plain sight in the bathroom. That started my life long habit of reading on the pot. And read them I did.

Nudity wasn’t a big deal in my house growing up. Both of my parents walked around nude, none of us own robes (or slippers) and us kids were always running around naked.

My dad routinely took showers with one of us, babes in his arms. Being naked was a normal part of my family life. My parents were beatniks and my mother, with her long blonde hair, spent most of her life in a leopard skin bikini and smoking cigarettes using a long black cigarette holder.

Although the terms were never used in our house, it was quite obvious that my father was a Dominant and my mother was a very docile submissive, which sent mixed signals to me… as the oldest child, and the oldest daughter. I was told to go out and do what I want, be what I want, as long as I was submissive like my mother. I was suppose to look like her too, but that was another thing that was never going to happen.

I think one of the images in those Playboy magazines that I always stayed with me was that the men were always clothed… usually in beautifully tailored suits or tuxedos and the women were always naked. It just seemed natural to me.

So now, as an adult… I am a control freak leader who usually needs to be in charge of projects who is also a sexual submissive with the right man… one that I want to be fully dressed (although I prefer black jeans and a black tee shirt over a suit and tie) while I am blissfully nude.