Nudity and Sex

In my family, both nudity and sex was seen as pretty normal and straight forward… I’ve already written about how my parents casually kept my father’s Playboy magazines and my mother’s Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs basically in plain site. Both were the beginnings of my knowledge about sex, other than the traumatic events of being molested as a child and being raped as a teenager.

As a small child, it was common for us three children to run around the house and backyard completely naked. My mother practically lived in a leopard skin bikini. My parents were beatniks, that is, until we moved to a new house and they found respectability. And my sister and I started to grow up and develop.

We were not actually talked to by our parents about sex, we were handed a book and told to read it and talk to them if we had any questions. They knew that never was going to happen. Although my mother was a very sexy woman in looks and worked at looking sexy, in reality she hated sex and that mentality came to us girls loud and clear. My father, too, had a change of heart about what his daughters were expected to do. He was an atheist who still subscribed to the biblically-taught Christian submission of women. My father was a Dominant and my mother a submissive, even if they never used those terms. I’m quite sure that it was my mother’s dislike of sex that caused my father to find other women for that need. I certainly don’t fault him for that.

But I do fault him with having a double standard mentality when it came to sex. When it was clear that my boyfriend and I were sexually active at age 19 and then moved in together, my father was angry. Yet, when a few months later, he left my mother and moved in with his girlfriend, who was my age, he couldn’t see the hypocrisy of it.

In spite of all of this negative feedback that I got from my parents, from the church, from school, from friends about sexuality and nudity, none of it really took away my fascination with being nude; in art as well as life. I did go through a phase of needing to be totally covered; bra, panties, girdle, stockings or pantyhose, slip, dress… I do think this was more due to society input rather than personal desire. Now I wear none of that and even more than before, enjoy being naked myself and love looking at nudity in art forms.

I guess I’ve come full circle…

The first two paintings are by Edgar Degas, the third by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and the last one by Cala Koopman

 

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One thought on “Nudity and Sex

  1. Good on you for finding comfort in your body. I applaud you!

    Also, it’s always interesting to hear from different backgrounds. I haven’t heard someone else use the word ‘beatniks’ in some time. So reading briefly about your life and how that shaped you somewhat was wonderful. I’d like to hear more.

    Like

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