I couldn’t just pass this one up.
Halloween has always been a big holiday for me… parties, cooking, decorating (really big on the decorating) and costumes.
These days I don’t do much of any of that, for a variety of reasons. I haven’t dressed up in a costume for ages.
But I found one that I think I could do. Being naked is my favorite state of being. So why these socks and nothing else?
Trick or treat?
Actually, I’d give you both!
A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
me back a sample tomorrow.” The next day the 70 year old man reappears
at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and
empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: “Well, doc, it’s
like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She
tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing.
She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the
teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and
she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” the old man replied,
“yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get the DAMN jar open!”
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentally drops some BB’s from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won’t matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don’t even notice the BB’s.
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, ”Mom, mom, I pissed out a BB!”
She says ”That’s okay, son. I accidentally dropped some BB’s into the cake batter. You’ll be fine.”
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” but the mother cuts him off and she says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a BB. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.”
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, ”Mom, mom, I-” and the mother cuts him off and says, ”I know, I know, you pissed out a BB. It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, ”No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”
One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, and the third one’s arm was too short to reach.